The
Passionate You and that other person
It seems impossible
that two persons could occupy the same body, at the same moment in time, but I
believe we do. This duality existence is as old as our species itself. Two
people, one body. Hummm . . . . . . .
Well at least we shall never be alone.
“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk
seriously about.”
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
But seriously, one
morning as I sat patiently waiting for the next salvo of words to be fired
across the bow of my coffee cup, I braced myself. As she glared in my
direction, I was hoping my silence would draw her words out. Two minutes and
twenty four seconds later, success! My wife lectured me, again, stating that I
was acting just like my father, again. I reminded her that I had spent 18 years
living with the man and that the possibility of acquiring some of his traits
and habits was not a possibility but a certainty. A sure bet. 100%. I wasn’t acting
like my father I was imitating my father. I was reacting or maybe the
proper term is repeating the stated actions I had witnessed my father act out.
I refer to this phenomenon as “The Parental Rerun Show, sponsored by Memorex.”
Like father, like son. It wasn’t me honey, my father made me say those things.
Was it my Dad or just my personality?
And just what is my
personality? Well, I am unsure just how to describe my personal personality.
So, I looked it up at dictionary.com and discovered that my personality is a
combination of what I know and how others perceive my actions. My personality
is the sum others perception? So everyone perceives us as uniquely different?
Hummmm . . . .
Do we have two personalities or one
vastly complex personality? I believe that we are all two people in many ways.
The primary belief being that we all hold a “passionate you” and “that other
person”. Let me explain my thoughts here. The “passionate you” is the child who
is always either 1) Chasing Pirates or 2) off on another great adventure of
some sort and “that other person” is the frowning kid next door who, while
shaking their head with arms folded tightly against their chest yells over the
fence “when are you going to grow up?” One is being their true passionate self
and the other is being behaved, as dictated by parental and societal influences
of the current day. One is fueled by personal passion to capture those pesky
pirates and the other is fueled by the desire to be just like, to talk just
like and behave just like all the other grown up’s. Pity.
But wait there’s more;
I believe that as one grows older, one’s point of focus changes not their
“passionate you”. As I moved from chasing pirates to chasing young, curvaceous
maidens my focus did truly change. I was still the same ole trouble I had
always been, just refocused. Society and other outside influences mold and
shape our viewpoints and narrow our definitions of all things and emotions. As
I read the title “unabridged dictionary” I think “yeah, right!”. The unabridged
dictionary contains definitions to words that have been voted on and accepted
by the committee of our peers for the advancement of proper words for proper
persons. How nice of them to explain to us what words are allowed and what
definitions are allowed. Now we know, we didn’t even have to use our own three
pounds of synapse-laden tissue hidden beneath our skull to figure it out! But
not so quickly there my good friend, remember with knowledge comes
responsibility. We must now remember to hang up our blinders on the bedpost
before we go to sleep. Dreams do not require blinders. They only require our
God given imagination. There are no rules or predefined words and thoughts in
the land of dreamers. In my dreams I am still chasing pirates and an occasional
young, curvaceous maiden. In my peaceful slumbers my personal unabridged
dictionary is full of blank pages and I have the only pencil in the world. Oh,
yeah Baby.
Dual personalities or
dual persons? I believe that we have a complex personality that comes standard
with a “personality switch”. In the up position we are sailing the Caribbean
with a parrot named Moe on our shoulder, singing along with our first mate,
Jimmy Buffet. With the switch in the down position we have adjusted well and
our thoughts, words and actions mirror the acceptable norms of the day. If we
never get caught with the switch in the wrong position at the right time then
we have matured, grown up and possess a well-adjusted personality. Act right at
all times and no one knows just how much you like to chase pirates and that
occasional young, curvaceous maiden. I always and I do mean always get caught with my switch in the
wrong position or maybe I am in the right position and everyone else, all of
them shaking their heads and yelling over the fence at me, has their switch in
the wrong position, hummmmm, hard to say.
In an article entitled
“Dual Personalities” the author stated “Every human being has two
personalities: an archaic, primitive, childlike, unadapted personality, and a
modern, sophisticated, adult, and, to all appearances, adapted personality.”
That definition or what I prefer to classify as an educated opinion, I believe
to be true, kind of. This dual personality or dual persona has got me
flustered. I believe that we can adapt, change and even evolve. But, do we
really? If you think about singing all day long, aren’t you supposed to be a
singer? Not an accountant. Why do we live our lives pretending to be what we
are surely not? Why don’t we stop pretending and start living our true lives?
How bad could it be? Okay maybe the BMW will have to go but does it make you happy,
really? No, I didn’t think so. Sell the Bimmer and take singing lessons. You
will be happier and your insurance will be half with a Toyota Camry. You know
you will be happy and you will be doing it for the most perfect of reasons. Who
cares if you don’t win American Idol? You win the game of life, my melodic
friend. You will be living a dream, your personal dream. When you are happy,
everyone else will adapt, change and yes, evolve with you. Tell me I am lying
when I say, “When my wife is happy, I am happy”. Hummmm ? Okay, I am not
married now, but I was married and I wanted my wife to be eternally happy so I
could be happy. Simple, you don’t need a shrink you need a dream. Sometimes all
we need is a little push to flip that switch and get on the road to Happyville,
USA.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone
else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
~Oscar
Wilde
Consider this little tid-bit of advice from one of the most quoted and
respected psychoanalyst of the twentieth century,
“Anyone who wants to know the human psyche will learn next to nothing from
experimental psychology (Freudian style). He would be better advised to
abandon exact science, put away his scholar’s gown, bid farewell to his study,
and wander with human heart through the world. …. through love and hate,
through the experience of passion in every form in his own body, he would reap
richer stores of knowledge than text-books a foot thick could give him, and he
will know how to doctor the sick with a real knowledge of the human soul.”
Hummmmmmm . . . .
. I read that and heard a little voice
in my personal psyche scream “Flip the switch!” Knowledge is a treasure but
true understanding comes from passionately believing in yourself and others.
Knowledge comes from the education we receive through studies; true
understanding is acquired through the study of its application in real life.
Carl Jung, the quoted author, also had some very interesting dreams. Carl
recorded his dreams and visions in great detail and once wrote “A leathery
brown dwarf would show up guarding the entrance to the unconscious. He was “the
shadow,…”
Yes, Carl was very,
very special. Well, my dreams don’t include such metaphors, just young,
curvaceous maidens and a few pesky pirates. I wonder what Carl would think of
that? Maybe, I don’t want to know. For you see I am passionate about my life,
others in my life and I want all of us to have the option of flipping that
switch without the whole of society condemning us as Unadjusted. I don’t
want somebody to classify my personality or put me in a category such as “INFJ
which equals Introvert 11%, Intuitive 62% Intuitive Feeling 25% and Judging 1%”
or tell me that I should behave this way or that way. I just want to be me. I
really don’t need a label to define who I am and how I perceive the world
around me. The way I see it, we all are unique in our own right.
“So God created man in his own
image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27
God don’t make no junk! We all are unique and yes, it is
our God given right to be ourselves. So there, Carl!
“The
pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right
and wrong.”
~Carl Jung
People always want to
plaster a label on other people. Some folks insist on categorizing our behavior
as acceptable or unacceptable. Others view it as either right or wrong.
Perception of my behavior from another’s point of view does not confirm my
intentions or my degree of adjustment to societal norms. It is simply their
opinion of my actions based on their personal definition of those societal
norms. I am not God and I try not to judge others.
I simply believe the
passionate you is the giggly you, the one who is just dying to get out of that
tight little crowded, dark corner of your soul and do what? Yes, that’s right,
be happy. What time is it? Why it’s Party time! When you allow that little
person to be happy, guess what? You change into a happy person and now we have
a party. The passionate you becomes happy and soon all the folks you hang out
with see you so gosh darn happy and they want to be that gosh darn happy too!
Good going, genius! You have started something that will not be content as a
solo ride. Happiness does truly make its own company. So, . . . . Lets Party!
“Some
cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde
So what will it be? Do you want to
tell your Grandkids about all the times that you wish you could have, or you
would have this or that? I prefer to start my stories with, Let me tell you
about the time I did this crazy thing . . . “Jimmy, Oscar, Carl and I were
sailing off the southern Florida coast in hot pursuit of “one leg Betty McGirk”
when a shot rang out and then… “
Why do people hold on
to old memories and never make it to the present day? They just relive that day
over and over. The worst part of this is that they want you to accompany them
on that eternal memory cruise ship. Pity, I believe they have lost their dream
and somehow are trapped in the past, looking for that life that got away. “If
I only could have or if I only would have.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn’t go
exactly like you planned, so what? Are you going to live the rest of your life
wondering why? Excuse me! This is not a rehearsal my friend, this is a one shot
deal. And while you are refocusing your one and only life, a dream in your
heart couldn’t hurt. Leave the past in the past. You will never forget it but
it doesn’t have to run or ruin the rest of your life.
“One’s real life is so often the life that one does
not lead. “
~Oscar Wilde
~Oscar Wilde
Our lives are far too precious and valuable to be taken for granted. Our
lives interact and intertwine with so many others that by living a mirrored
existence would be a travesty to ourselves and all those lives we touch. I
believe we should be ourselves. In using the words of Oscar Wilde and Carl Jung
I hope to convey that they both could have lived very different lives. They
chose to be themselves, one with their switch flipped down and the other with
his in the up position, even though many persons in this world disagree with
their perspective of the world. Their originality has influenced and changed
the lives of all who read their works. That influence has lasted for over a
hundred years. Shouldn't you and I strive to be remembered for being ourselves too?
Yes we should, glad you agree!
Now where did I put my
eye patch?
